A few old ones

I found my old journal the other day and while most everything in it is embarrassing and melodramatic I thought I'd share one or two old journal entries for you to read just for fun. I just chose these completely at random. They're not the best or worst. Just the first ones I opened up to. This could be really embarassing...

This is an angry one
12/15/07

You always act so innocent. You play the role of an angel but your wings reek of plastic and your halo is suspiciously absent. Your mask is paper thin and is noticeably worn from overuse. I can easily see past the facade, I see your real face. It is cracked and withered, ugly, just like mine.

The city walls are crumbling down now. Everything we worked for has been lost. A plague has ravaged the city and chaos has broken out. Legions of civilians adorned in masks flee from what they once called home. I am left amid the disorder of this modern Babylon, adorned in the chains you left me in. Lost and alone, I am stranded in these ruins with an albatross around my neck.

I have broken free from these chains that bound me to you and I want it back. I want back everything that you stole from me. You kept me down and robbed me of my life and for that it is my turn. I will take everything you ever loved.

OOOH so angsty.

3/27/08
I can't imagine the pain she must have known to be quietly gagged and bound in the corner as her house burnt down. Creeping softly through this waking nightmare. Mother, oh woman, what you must have done to busy your daughter and forsake your son. The flames never died they just found their way to your heart where they remain forever until the pounding has stopped. It will eat away at you until your final breath, this anger and hopelessness you are forced to live with. Clutching the pillow and breathing for air the color in her skin is fading as her screams get louder. The salt stains that line the sheets are all too clear as more fire erupts from her dry mouth before she collapses from the pain. Shrivelled up on the floor she is left with nothing more than the silence insde her when the screaming has stopped.

11/11/07
This world is what you make it, but it will never stop surprising me. I never expected things to go like this, I never knew. We seem to be drifting apart and I am left all alone. When was the last time you tried to help things? You never returned the favor. I guess I will just stick with them becuase at least I know when they're lying. So you look down your noses at me, through the masks you wear. Keep pulling my strings since I am your personal marionette and when you are done with me just throw me back in the corner. So here I sit, all alone trying to figure out how things got this bad. I realize you are the ones that changed. You have gotten so caught up in your new friends and being what they want you to be that you lost your true identity and forgot who your real friends are.

I guess I just have to move on. I have to find someone new also. It's sad but in life things are going to change. You have to treat life like jazz and just keep improvising through the changes. Make every single note count because that is yours and no one on this Earth can take that away. No one.

Nicknames/pet names

I realized the other day that I have special nicknames/petnames for a lot of girls (and a few guys) I know. Some (pretty much all of them) are embarrassing, some are funny, some and sweet. I felt like sharing a few of them:

dear, dearest, love = jennie
chili pepper, sugar = linda
pumpkin= bri
dollface, ass clown, babe = paris
royal princess, princess = katie
hun = felicia
bitch = johnna
darling = shae
muffin = anna c
platinum = alyssa
gold = lindsey
ashers = anna a
sex muffin= burke
skillz = kristin
ty ty = turiya
cupcake = rachel
wilson, lil slider, whoreson, mcfly, chewy, chewbert, dutchess of gossip = matt
logi bear = logan
the gatekeeper = peter
cat= catherine o
mile high = alison

kingdom animalia, phylum chordata, subphylum vertebrata, class aves

I want to be a bird and migrate south every winter. It also wouldn't hurt that they maintain an internal temperature of 109 degrees Fahrenheit. Besides, it wouldn't be too different for me. I already have long lanky appendages and I'm pretty much all slow twitch muscle fiber. Distance travel would suit me. Did I forget to mention it would be incredible to FLY!!

You are what you eat so I guess by that logic I'd probably be a bird anyways.

My blogs have been way too straightforward lately. Sorry about that. I'll write a real one soon enough. I haven't written a good one for a while but then again I don't really care.

I'll leave you with two questions:

1. If Pinocchio says his nose will grow will it?

2. If you met God and he sneezed what would you say to him?

This is a rock and roll take over

It doesn't get any better than this SO RUN LIKE HELL!

Have you ever...

Had a conversation where you wanted to say something but the other person never took the attention off themselves or bothered to ask about you?

That pretty much sums up the last 3 to 4 months of my life.

I'll probably regret posting this

"Don't take things personally and be kind because everyone is fighting their own battles"

I've been depressed lately. This has lasted kind of a long time and I'm not sure if anyone has really noticed. I'm not entirely sure why. I guess things just didn't turn out how I expected. I have a hard time caring about anything anymore. I can't motivate myself to do anything and I've lost interest in a lot of things I used to love. I sometimes sit in class or whatever and just try to think of reasons why I want to be alive. I know there are reasons but I just can't think of any sometimes. I know I've just gotten myself in a rut and I need to work on getting out. I've been working really hard on finding the beauty and joy in everyday life and keeping a positive outlook but it's hard sometimes. That's why I need to apologize. I'm sorry if I haven't been what you've needed me to be. I'm sorry if I can't give you the attention or effort you want or need. I'm sorry if I'm not the person I used to be. I'm sorry if I have trouble caring or putting effort into anything; don't take it personally, I seem to be having that problem in all aspects of my life. I've been trying to focus on myself and really work on changing my thinking and getting back to how I used to be. So call me selfish, stubborn, ignorant, etc but there are some things I just have to do for myself. I'm sorry if I haven't been there or been what you want me to be lately.

if only...

If the world caves in and death comes knocking on your door will you be upset you didn't study more?

I'm alive but I'm not living

I was stressed
depressed
a paranoid neurotic
writhing mess
But as soon as I met your eye
the clouds began to part in my sky
I began to shed my depression
like snakeskin
acquired through shallow misdirection

Someday I'll die. My skin will turn blue.
If I should meet God and he asks me how I made it through
I'll smile and tell him it's all thanks to you
If he sends me down from the sky
to give this world a second try
just as soon as I can trust my feet
I won't ever look back once I cross the street
I'll search the world for something true
but nothing will ever be as good as you

I'd spend my days working for a life with you.

Pray for Rain

Perception

We are really in control of the world around us. It's just about our perception of everything and how we process it. If you really think about it everything you see, hear, touch, feel, experience is just how your brain interprets various chemical and electrical messages. If you think about this we really have to power to completely control our life and make the world what we want it.

"Everybody perceives in a particular way that they're able or comfortable to perceive. I don't think it's just with music; it's how we grow in the world. That's why it's not necessarily important to make a grand sweeping gesture with your contribution to the world. Because you can say something that just one person has the ears to hear. And that person may be inspired to do something that changes the quality of their lives and in turn changes other people's lives. Whether it's the way we listen to music or our conception of life, our perception is continually evolving...we create what's important to us at that particular time and in that particular frame of mind." -Steve Vai

Dirty Movies

I'm bored and want a distraction. All of these movies have titles that could be mistaken for pornos.

old yeller
yes man
fast and furious
meet the parents
toy story
charlie and the chocolate factory
the good, the bad, the ugly
american beauty
it's a wonderful life
band of brothers
a few good men
the rescuers down under
he's just not that into you
master and commander
bill and ted's excellent adventure
goodfellas
free willie
meet joe black
101 dalmations
lion king
lady and the tramp
beauty and the beast
the italian job
titanic
deep impact

lost

Life is made up of key moments, peaks. You seem to live peak to peak.

I forgot how much I could feel. To be so overcome with emotion. You get so bogged down with all the tediousness and banality of the daily grind you lose sight of things. you lost your perspective.

Lost in those eyes as her dark hair falls to the side. You lose track of time, it stops. I want to hold onto this moment forever. Just stay suspended there forever. Lie in that bed with her and let the world pass us by.

I love you
I forgot I could feel that much emotion.

Calvin Rocks

My friend Calvin got a pretty sweet gig. He's an incredibly talented musician. Watch this video, he's the bassist. ps the main kid tyler is talented. Watch out for him in a few years.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P7Pp-PAPCg&feature=related

This life is a war of attrition

I can't believe the callous creature I became
or decide if its a blessing or a shame
cut every tie that kept me bound
and I found bliss in the free fall
knowing this would only last
until I met the ground
but if I could stay suspended I'd be happy
forever stuck in that moment
with a middle finger to gravity

I just want to breathe
let the air sink in and calm wash over me
just breathe
take some time and relearn to be free
I just want to breathe

Lost Perfection: part d

Some of those mistakes won't ever go away and some of these wounds won't ever heal. We've all been hurt and we're all fighting our own battles. There are some people I will always love despite some of the terrible things they've done to me. We all have our scars.

I can't take my mind off of you. You were always there and now you're gone.
I'll find my way.
I'm just stumbling through the dark with half my heart.
Is that alright with you?

Lost Perfection: part c

It may not be good enough for you.
It may not matter to you.
It may not be what you want.
but it was mine.

As time goes on this means more and more to me.

www.myspace.com/flashesofquincymusic

Lost Perfection: part b

Big bangs and sweet regrets are all that we have left.

If you're so enlightened why did you waste my time on it?

I still believe the words you say. I guess that makes me the fool.

I don't know the answers, but neither do you...

Lost Perfection: part a

What enables you to withstand the crushing banality of your trite, hackneyed existence?

I've rediscovered my lifeline. It had never actually left me. I just placed it on the back burner for a while.

Welcome back love.

I hope this moves you

Someday who I am will forgive what I've been, but I should hurry up becuase I'll never be this young again.

So I guess I should just figure out who I want to be but I can't help but feel like I'm lost in the dark. All I know is that I'm proud to be so passionately disavowed with a foot in the grave and my head in a cloud. It shouldn't be that hard for me but I've lost my way. I don't know where I am anymore and I'm being crushed by banality. I've become a stranger in my own home; happier as a nomad. I need you to guide me, show me the way. I'm fighting a war I didn't start. I want my world to end with a bang, not a whimper. Signed off as pathos: a piece of art. The world has gone crazy but I still believe.

I need you to listen. I need you to listen. Please just listen.
Every word I've ever written falls short of its intent. These letters betray what my mind meant. So just listen.
This world has gone crazy but I still believe.
I'll follow wherever you lead me.
So lead me...

Somewhere in the between

It's fairly late and I should probably be sleeping since I have to wake up early. I decided to blog even though I'm feeling hopelessly uninspired at the moment. That's life though.

I think Mike is having an identity crisis...

I've realized how self involved all of my blogs seem but I guess that's only natural considering that it is an outlet where I share all my personal thoughts for other people to read. I wanted to take time for myself to really figure out what I want from life and where I want to be. That never actually works out the way it should though. Every time I've ever said I wanted to take time for myself in my life some girl walks into my life...

The last thing I need in my life is another mentally unstable girl.

I need to get out and meet new people because I'm tired of being pigeonholed. I'm not the same person I was a few years ago but I'm still treated like it. People just like to categorize everything; it makes their lives easier.

What I need, really need, is to fall in love again. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my first love and how central it was to forming me as a person and human being. I learned a lot about myself and the kind of person I wanted to be from that. I need to rekindle that feeling. It used to energize me and motivate me. It drove me to be the best I possibly could and work as hard as I could. I miss that raw energy, enthusiasm, and motivation.

Love washes away the banality of everyday life.

Somewhere in the between is the life of which we all dream and nothing or no one can ever take that away

This will only take a minute...

When did masculinity take a backseat to civility?
Think about that statement. As we have become a more "civilized" culture masculine tendencies have become less socially accepted. I spent a lot of time talking to my grandpa and some of my uncles the other day. For them, fistfights were a right of passage and very commonplace. Nowadays fights are not that common and people that get in fights are "troubled" or given some sort of egregious label. That's just one example. They also talked about how they were raised with firearms. By the time they were ten they all had bb guns, .22s, and other small firearms. They never got hurt or shot eachother and they were fairly good with them. Flash forward to today, what is the average 10 year old more likely to be able to do well shoot, operate, dismantle and clean a gun or an arts and crafts project like making and decorating a card for someone? One more example becuase I have a lot of stuff to do today. Why is playing with explosives or playing with fire considered white trash? Because it was once considered masculine. It used to conjure images of war heros that personified testosterone on a battlefield who were killing nazis and charming french supermodels while saving a busload of orphans that somehow got stranded on Normandy beach. Now lighting stuff on fire or blowing something up is white trash or uncivil. That is society trying to homogenize society and take masculinity out of the picture. As men and women have become more equal in society there have been attempts to homogenize behaviors. That's my theory at least. This is just something random I think about in the shower. Anyways, as females have become more equal to men in society behavior has become more equal and standardized as well. Certain male tendencies have become "uncivilized" but that's not how we're supposed to act. We have oceans of testosterone running through our veins. We have aggressive tendencies we need to indulge sometimes. Don't think I am bad-mouthing feminism. I am all for equal rights for women and I realize that it's a double-edged sword. If a woman wants to make it in the business world she has to act a bit more masculine in order to make it or be accepted. Like I said, behavior has become homogenized and men and women are meeting somewhere in the middle. I'm not saying it is a bad thing. I just don't like some of the side effects. Right now I'm just continuing to type becuase I don't want to do my homework or clean out my basement. I'm stalling.... Sorry for that. I don't think my thoughts were nearly as organized as I meant for them to be. Feel free to argue or discuss this with me.

Volcano

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=259uK-4OqWA

don't hold yourself like that you'll hurt your knees
i kissed your mouth and back that's all i need
don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
don't throw yourself like that in front of me
i kissed your mouth your back is that all you need?
don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
what i give to you is just what i'm going through
this is nothing new no no just another phase of finding
what i really need is what makes me bleed
and like a new disease she's still too young to treat
volcanoes melt me down
she's still too young
i kissed your mouth
you do not need me

epiphany

I'm making a change. I 'm going back to basics. For a while people have been telling me what I need and what I want. I've been going along with it to make everyone happy. People have been helping me solve problems that don't exist and creating new problems. I am done making you people happy. Call me selfish but I have to do some of this for myself. At the end of the day it comes down to doing what makes you happy. I don't care if you think I have a problem. You can't fix what isn't there. Quit making stuff up for the sake of self aggrandizement because that does not fly with me.

I want to feel that hunger only notes can fill.

Listening to everyone has taken my voice away. I have silenced myself.

It's funny what little things can trigger epiphanies like this. I had been on the verge of it for a while but a bad decision or two really pushed me over the edge. Good bye sainthood, hello enlightenment. Enlightenment probably isn't the right word, neither is sainthood in that case.

?>!>!>@#@$@!$%!!!?>?@

I've been good lately. Hell, I've practically been a saint. My body doesn't like this. If I can guess I would say that my Hypothalamus has been upregulating my testosterone and has pretty much quit regulating oxytocin altogether (ladies look up oxytocin, you'll wish it came in pill form). Who knows, maybe I'm perpetuating the problem to revel in the bittersweet satisfaction of it all. The masochist in me wants to wallow in the misery in order to marrinate my metaphors in it. We've all got that masochistic side that we know and love. Maybe, just maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And maybe, just maybe, that light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming freight train. I've come to realize that fuitily it trying to predict and control your future. Controlling the present is hard enough. The future will be the death of me...

She's a pretty pretty girl. I would most certainly let her pollinate me. I wonder if that will happen. Who knows? I could probably make it happen but I don't know if it's in the cards.
Flashes of her are maturing into staged masterpieces in my eyes. I watched the ocean envelop the sky. The sun burnt my flesh and set fire to the the salt. The creatures left the water to begin evolving again and the cylce continues as it has since it began. In other words, failure isn't straight, it's a circular shape composed of every fucking mistake. All the mental masterbation in the world couldn't bring you close to answering that question, but I think that's the beauty of it. Maybe that's just me. I don't think you understand. I don't think I quite understand. I'll just continue to play and fret at the same time. Never really accomplishing anything but secretly wishing for everything.

I'm cutting this one close. I thought I had done much better. I guess hubris will be my downfall. Hubris or a lack of adderol. Anyways, I have so much more to do and only so much time to do it.

Patience

I used to think I was patient but this semester has really tested that. If I seem impatient or on edge these days there's a good reason: I AM TIRED OF FUCKING WAITING AND BEING PATIENT!!!

I seriously don't want to put up with this anymore. Fuck you, Fuck this, Fuck waiting, Fuck patience, Fuck life, Fuck Death, Fuck Coldplay, Fuck relationships, Fuck Women, Fuck Girls, Fuck Dogs, Fuck Pirates, Fuck SARS, Fuck Rasicsm, Fuck Sociology, Fuck Group projects, Fuck my intermittent insomnia, Fuck homophobia, Fuck hunger, Fuck Human Body, Fuck Sociology again just for the fuck or it, Fuck Beauty, Fuck Rape, Fuck profanity, Fuck Feminists, Fuck virgins, Fuck Geese, Fuck you gallbladder, Fuck bitches, Fuck Asses, Fuck Plans, Fuck the future, Fuck improper nouns, Fuck ambiguity, Fuck giving a fuck, Fuck everything with a big rusty pole.

ps you're fucking stupid. go fuckyourself in the ass with a telephone pole.

Love,
Donnie

Procrastinating

I want to show you kiddies what it really means to rock and roll...

I have an ocean of testosterone circulating through my body. Who knows what will happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and give it everything. Did anyone ever really dream of being mediocre? We dream of being the best. I'm not stopping until you get it. Too bad no one cares! They seriously don't care about your "problems" because we are all fighting our own battles. Nice try, game over, game over man.

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

I still have 10 pages to write and 2 tests to study for. Shit
I'm proud of myself though...

Walk around the room with a glaze in your stare.
In your tuxedo suit.
I will give it a name.
Lower your defenses.
Lower your casket.
Open the door and open your grave.
Murder.
Now you're doing the waltz with your murderer.
Mediocrity is the killer.
You find yourself helpless.
Christ is not a fashoin, fleeting away.
He laid emeralds in her eyes,
but I'd already tried a bracelet made of gold
and a scarlet thread around her wrist.
Everything was wrong so we sang sentimental songs.
Oh how seldom we belong but how elegant our kiss.
We painted crooked lines,
but danced in perfect time to a love so much refined,
we know not what it is until like a dullen wine we pour into a grief know before
but never quite like this.
All I know now is regret,
it follows like a silhouette along the cobblestone behind us,
but has nothing to say except to innocently ask,
its voice delicate as glass,
Do you see me when we pass?
but I continue on my way.

Goals

I used to be a much more driven person and I feel like I've lost some of that so I'm going to start making goals and everyone will be able to make sure I follow them and help me out.

Goals:
1) Study Human Body everyday (at least some)
2) Stick to my diet and exercise program (basically keep me from eating too many sweets)
3) Learn at least 4 new songs every week

Those are 3 simple goals. Make sure I stick to them. If people know them I have people that can hold me accountable for messing up.

Brutally Honest

I bet you're really fucking proud of yourself. All this attention you've been getting lately. The opposite sex just can't resist you and you can't resist them. When you enter the room all eyes immediately converge on you and you absolutely love it. It's just one mistake after another. The messes we make only bring us more attention. Everyone is secretly in love with their own pain and suffering but they would not ever admit it. What doesn't kill you only gets you more sympathy. God forbid that something truly tragic were to ever happen to you. These messes you always find yourself in are all your own fault; perfectly orchestrated tragedies just so we can test the waters and keep the limelight focused directly on us. You're too scared of failure to actually take a chance and too scared to move on that you keep falling back into this vicious circle of yours. Fuck this tragic little world you've built for yourself. It is time to face reality and quit fucking things up for yourself before you go too far.

I guess that's just the morning after a party though when you wake up to the mess and faint memories of a good time. Sometimes you wake up feeling more empty than the bottles you have to pick up. I am sure she had a great time off wherever the fuck she may be. Stupid whore, I will take everything you ever loved. So many dreams and desires and so little time. I really am sick of hearing about this and I'm tired of biased judgment from people that don't know me. Fuck, I really hate this semester. Stupid whore, good luck finding anyone who will ever love you half as much as you love yourself. Good luck finding anyone that will ever treat you half as great as I did. Not that it really maters. There seems to be a trend here...
I guess that makes number 4 or 5. I have quit counting because it depresses me but the numbers are climbing. Yay for being blissfully single and don't forget to wipe your feet on the doormat.

When I come around

Someday who I am will forgive who I've been but I should hurry up because I'll never be this young again.

Nothing is more frightening than the word "perfect".

Sleep is for the dreamers so don't ever let me wake.

I'll remain inspired until my expiration.

And now for something completely different...

I found the corner in a spinning room. I gave in to entropy and fell through the ceiling then hit my head on the floor. It's time to cut these ties...
Life taught me that I'll die.
Love taught me how to cry.
Gravity taught me how to fly.
Jump from the tops of the highest man-made cliffs you can find and spread your wings. It's sink or swim. It's fly or die. Don't disappoint; that would be a messy failure...
Maybe it's the hyperglycemia, maybe it's just me but this room seems to be spinning out of my control. She sings to me a tune in the key of blue with spinning tangerine eyes and skin like bilirubin bleached bile.

BRING ON THE HUNGER! I'm ready for something new...

I really hope she's done being an intolerable bitch.
You really don't know the first thing about me.
What happened to that nice, sweet thing we all knew and loved?
Delay my satisfaction; as much as I love instant pleasure I want something more lasting.

It's time to cut my losses...

"What is he talking about?"
"who cares? just keep sitting on the back burner. The stomach pain will pass."

Happy Easter. Let's do it again next year if the zombies don't get to us first.

Anyways, I have so much more to see and nowhere pressing to be.
I'll sleep when I'm dead: Lay down in the dirt to finally rest my head.
But for now it's off to work I go
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I fucking go.

misanthropy pure

Two bits of knowledge from my favorite misanthrope. I'll probably really blog sometime later this week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3mFj5M3Cbs&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB8wWlPdYRs&feature=related

Introspection?

The clouds steal the sun from the sky and shadows fall. The fire's light chases away the darkness. Helpless, we can only watch it burn.

The silence that separates us is also the same thing that brings us together. Drunk on solitude; A prayer is whispered for luck.

Raise your class in memory of your biggest mistake. Raise your glass in memory of all the hearts you break.

She is the poison coursing through my veins. Take me someplace I've never been, I want to see everything.

Sprout wings with me so we can watch the hills burn then fly to the ocean just to taste the salt.

Her serrated teeth versus a lifetime of dreams. To this day it still stands as the most horrific thing I've ever seen.

Put a gun against my head
Let's paint these walls a darker shade of red.

It has been over three years now; three fucking years. Where have they all gone? The time has hastily been slipping through my fingers like sand. We have both changed a lot in those three short years but our situation is still stagnant. Ever the unrequited love affair. Broken hearts lead to broken livers. If I was smarter I would cut my losses and move on but that is obviously not the case. Sometimes I feel like we are doomed to keep repeating our mistakes over and over and over and over and over again. We keep falling into this vicious circle in a limbo of self pity and frustration. I guess the responsibility really falls on me. I need to take a stand on be responsible for my actions. We always run to what is most comfortable and familiar. Too afraid of the unknown to take a chance and too afraid to lose the comfort of knowing what lies just around every corner...

...it is morning and I am awake as she quietly sleeps beside me. The first few rays from a fresh sun sneak across the room and illuminate the gentle curves of her cheek. The light accents every nuance of her soft skin, smooth as perfectly aged porcelain. I have been awake for some time, content with just watching her lie beside me. I pay careful attention to the soft rhythmic rising and falling of her chest and the way her beautiful, dark hair lies perfectly around her head. Her skin is smooth like fine silk against mine. As the morning hastily approaches more sunlight finds its way to the bed to illuminate her entire face. Even when she is fast asleep she is strikingly beautiful. Her exquisite eyes are softly nestled away beneath her eyelids. I feel her entire body shift as her eyelids gracefully flutter and her sensuous lips part. In the light her eyes are strikingly vibrant. She is awake...

I should have kissed you like I meant it when I had the chance.
We keep our distance now there's no room for romance
What could you take that I haven't lost?
What could you break that I've still got?
All alone, you spat in my face
but I know, I can make it on my own
so goodnight gorgeous
pretend everything's alright
goodnight gorgeous

First blog

I decided to start blogging and I'm not sure why. I will probably only update this intermittently. Oh well. Today is a busy day. I've decided that I hate Sundays. The day of rest my ass...
We are taught to observe Sunday as a spiritual day (it's in the 10 commandments right up there with killing people, stealing, and stealing your neighbor's spouse) of rest. I don't remember the last Sunday where I rested; I'm always playing catch up and doing homework or something else. That's life.


Self destruction is masturbation. Self improvement is the answer. (Thank you Chuck Palahniuk)

At a high enough concentration the toxicity of any substance becomes lethal. Think about that one...

People in our society place way too much of an emphasis on being in a relationship or finding the person that's right for us. It kinda makes me sick sometimes. What ever happened to being content with yourself and making yourself happy. Those people that don't ever feel complete unless they have someone there make me sick. Learn to love yourself and quit dribbling about how great your significant other is. Everyone is so paranoid of being alone. It's like the silence that separates people, most can't take it and have to break the silence. No one cares to just enjoy it. Silence never lasts long. In all fairness nothing really lasts. We are all just fleeting memories that have yet to pass. Everything we know is just an electrical impulse in your brain transmitted by a complex chain of axons, neurons, receptors, chemicals, neurotransmitters, etc. Have you ever really thought about that? What you are" seeing" or "feeling" is really just how your brain interprets different electrical or chemical impulses. I'll extrapolate on all of this later. It's Sunday and I have far too much to do right now.


I'll leave you with some lyrics:

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I've become
You're free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar