Sunday, November 15, 2009

I'll probably regret posting this

"Don't take things personally and be kind because everyone is fighting their own battles"

I've been depressed lately. This has lasted kind of a long time and I'm not sure if anyone has really noticed. I'm not entirely sure why. I guess things just didn't turn out how I expected. I have a hard time caring about anything anymore. I can't motivate myself to do anything and I've lost interest in a lot of things I used to love. I sometimes sit in class or whatever and just try to think of reasons why I want to be alive. I know there are reasons but I just can't think of any sometimes. I know I've just gotten myself in a rut and I need to work on getting out. I've been working really hard on finding the beauty and joy in everyday life and keeping a positive outlook but it's hard sometimes. That's why I need to apologize. I'm sorry if I haven't been what you've needed me to be. I'm sorry if I can't give you the attention or effort you want or need. I'm sorry if I'm not the person I used to be. I'm sorry if I have trouble caring or putting effort into anything; don't take it personally, I seem to be having that problem in all aspects of my life. I've been trying to focus on myself and really work on changing my thinking and getting back to how I used to be. So call me selfish, stubborn, ignorant, etc but there are some things I just have to do for myself. I'm sorry if I haven't been there or been what you want me to be lately.

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