Saturday, December 19, 2009

A few old ones

I found my old journal the other day and while most everything in it is embarrassing and melodramatic I thought I'd share one or two old journal entries for you to read just for fun. I just chose these completely at random. They're not the best or worst. Just the first ones I opened up to. This could be really embarassing...

This is an angry one

You always act so innocent. You play the role of an angel but your wings reek of plastic and your halo is suspiciously absent. Your mask is paper thin and is noticeably worn from overuse. I can easily see past the facade, I see your real face. It is cracked and withered, ugly, just like mine.

The city walls are crumbling down now. Everything we worked for has been lost. A plague has ravaged the city and chaos has broken out. Legions of civilians adorned in masks flee from what they once called home. I am left amid the disorder of this modern Babylon, adorned in the chains you left me in. Lost and alone, I am stranded in these ruins with an albatross around my neck.

I have broken free from these chains that bound me to you and I want it back. I want back everything that you stole from me. You kept me down and robbed me of my life and for that it is my turn. I will take everything you ever loved.

OOOH so angsty.

I can't imagine the pain she must have known to be quietly gagged and bound in the corner as her house burnt down. Creeping softly through this waking nightmare. Mother, oh woman, what you must have done to busy your daughter and forsake your son. The flames never died they just found their way to your heart where they remain forever until the pounding has stopped. It will eat away at you until your final breath, this anger and hopelessness you are forced to live with. Clutching the pillow and breathing for air the color in her skin is fading as her screams get louder. The salt stains that line the sheets are all too clear as more fire erupts from her dry mouth before she collapses from the pain. Shrivelled up on the floor she is left with nothing more than the silence insde her when the screaming has stopped.

This world is what you make it, but it will never stop surprising me. I never expected things to go like this, I never knew. We seem to be drifting apart and I am left all alone. When was the last time you tried to help things? You never returned the favor. I guess I will just stick with them becuase at least I know when they're lying. So you look down your noses at me, through the masks you wear. Keep pulling my strings since I am your personal marionette and when you are done with me just throw me back in the corner. So here I sit, all alone trying to figure out how things got this bad. I realize you are the ones that changed. You have gotten so caught up in your new friends and being what they want you to be that you lost your true identity and forgot who your real friends are.

I guess I just have to move on. I have to find someone new also. It's sad but in life things are going to change. You have to treat life like jazz and just keep improvising through the changes. Make every single note count because that is yours and no one on this Earth can take that away. No one.

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