I used to be a much more driven person and I feel like I've lost some of that so I'm going to start making goals and everyone will be able to make sure I follow them and help me out.
Goals:
1) Study Human Body everyday (at least some)
2) Stick to my diet and exercise program (basically keep me from eating too many sweets)
3) Learn at least 4 new songs every week
Those are 3 simple goals. Make sure I stick to them. If people know them I have people that can hold me accountable for messing up.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Brutally Honest
I bet you're really fucking proud of yourself. All this attention you've been getting lately. The opposite sex just can't resist you and you can't resist them. When you enter the room all eyes immediately converge on you and you absolutely love it. It's just one mistake after another. The messes we make only bring us more attention. Everyone is secretly in love with their own pain and suffering but they would not ever admit it. What doesn't kill you only gets you more sympathy. God forbid that something truly tragic were to ever happen to you. These messes you always find yourself in are all your own fault; perfectly orchestrated tragedies just so we can test the waters and keep the limelight focused directly on us. You're too scared of failure to actually take a chance and too scared to move on that you keep falling back into this vicious circle of yours. Fuck this tragic little world you've built for yourself. It is time to face reality and quit fucking things up for yourself before you go too far.
I guess that's just the morning after a party though when you wake up to the mess and faint memories of a good time. Sometimes you wake up feeling more empty than the bottles you have to pick up. I am sure she had a great time off wherever the fuck she may be. Stupid whore, I will take everything you ever loved. So many dreams and desires and so little time. I really am sick of hearing about this and I'm tired of biased judgment from people that don't know me. Fuck, I really hate this semester. Stupid whore, good luck finding anyone who will ever love you half as much as you love yourself. Good luck finding anyone that will ever treat you half as great as I did. Not that it really maters. There seems to be a trend here...
I guess that makes number 4 or 5. I have quit counting because it depresses me but the numbers are climbing. Yay for being blissfully single and don't forget to wipe your feet on the doormat.
I guess that's just the morning after a party though when you wake up to the mess and faint memories of a good time. Sometimes you wake up feeling more empty than the bottles you have to pick up. I am sure she had a great time off wherever the fuck she may be. Stupid whore, I will take everything you ever loved. So many dreams and desires and so little time. I really am sick of hearing about this and I'm tired of biased judgment from people that don't know me. Fuck, I really hate this semester. Stupid whore, good luck finding anyone who will ever love you half as much as you love yourself. Good luck finding anyone that will ever treat you half as great as I did. Not that it really maters. There seems to be a trend here...
I guess that makes number 4 or 5. I have quit counting because it depresses me but the numbers are climbing. Yay for being blissfully single and don't forget to wipe your feet on the doormat.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
When I come around
Someday who I am will forgive who I've been but I should hurry up because I'll never be this young again.
Nothing is more frightening than the word "perfect".
Sleep is for the dreamers so don't ever let me wake.
I'll remain inspired until my expiration.
Nothing is more frightening than the word "perfect".
Sleep is for the dreamers so don't ever let me wake.
I'll remain inspired until my expiration.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
And now for something completely different...
I found the corner in a spinning room. I gave in to entropy and fell through the ceiling then hit my head on the floor. It's time to cut these ties...
Life taught me that I'll die.
Love taught me how to cry.
Gravity taught me how to fly.
Jump from the tops of the highest man-made cliffs you can find and spread your wings. It's sink or swim. It's fly or die. Don't disappoint; that would be a messy failure...
Maybe it's the hyperglycemia, maybe it's just me but this room seems to be spinning out of my control. She sings to me a tune in the key of blue with spinning tangerine eyes and skin like bilirubin bleached bile.
BRING ON THE HUNGER! I'm ready for something new...
I really hope she's done being an intolerable bitch.
You really don't know the first thing about me.
What happened to that nice, sweet thing we all knew and loved?
Delay my satisfaction; as much as I love instant pleasure I want something more lasting.
It's time to cut my losses...
"What is he talking about?"
"who cares? just keep sitting on the back burner. The stomach pain will pass."
Happy Easter. Let's do it again next year if the zombies don't get to us first.
Anyways, I have so much more to see and nowhere pressing to be.
I'll sleep when I'm dead: Lay down in the dirt to finally rest my head.
But for now it's off to work I go
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I fucking go.
Life taught me that I'll die.
Love taught me how to cry.
Gravity taught me how to fly.
Jump from the tops of the highest man-made cliffs you can find and spread your wings. It's sink or swim. It's fly or die. Don't disappoint; that would be a messy failure...
Maybe it's the hyperglycemia, maybe it's just me but this room seems to be spinning out of my control. She sings to me a tune in the key of blue with spinning tangerine eyes and skin like bilirubin bleached bile.
BRING ON THE HUNGER! I'm ready for something new...
I really hope she's done being an intolerable bitch.
You really don't know the first thing about me.
What happened to that nice, sweet thing we all knew and loved?
Delay my satisfaction; as much as I love instant pleasure I want something more lasting.
It's time to cut my losses...
"What is he talking about?"
"who cares? just keep sitting on the back burner. The stomach pain will pass."
Happy Easter. Let's do it again next year if the zombies don't get to us first.
Anyways, I have so much more to see and nowhere pressing to be.
I'll sleep when I'm dead: Lay down in the dirt to finally rest my head.
But for now it's off to work I go
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I fucking go.
Monday, April 6, 2009
misanthropy pure
Two bits of knowledge from my favorite misanthrope. I'll probably really blog sometime later this week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3mFj5M3Cbs&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB8wWlPdYRs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3mFj5M3Cbs&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB8wWlPdYRs&feature=related
Monday, March 30, 2009
Introspection?
The clouds steal the sun from the sky and shadows fall. The fire's light chases away the darkness. Helpless, we can only watch it burn.
The silence that separates us is also the same thing that brings us together. Drunk on solitude; A prayer is whispered for luck.
Raise your class in memory of your biggest mistake. Raise your glass in memory of all the hearts you break.
She is the poison coursing through my veins. Take me someplace I've never been, I want to see everything.
Sprout wings with me so we can watch the hills burn then fly to the ocean just to taste the salt.
Her serrated teeth versus a lifetime of dreams. To this day it still stands as the most horrific thing I've ever seen.
Put a gun against my head
Let's paint these walls a darker shade of red.
It has been over three years now; three fucking years. Where have they all gone? The time has hastily been slipping through my fingers like sand. We have both changed a lot in those three short years but our situation is still stagnant. Ever the unrequited love affair. Broken hearts lead to broken livers. If I was smarter I would cut my losses and move on but that is obviously not the case. Sometimes I feel like we are doomed to keep repeating our mistakes over and over and over and over and over again. We keep falling into this vicious circle in a limbo of self pity and frustration. I guess the responsibility really falls on me. I need to take a stand on be responsible for my actions. We always run to what is most comfortable and familiar. Too afraid of the unknown to take a chance and too afraid to lose the comfort of knowing what lies just around every corner...
...it is morning and I am awake as she quietly sleeps beside me. The first few rays from a fresh sun sneak across the room and illuminate the gentle curves of her cheek. The light accents every nuance of her soft skin, smooth as perfectly aged porcelain. I have been awake for some time, content with just watching her lie beside me. I pay careful attention to the soft rhythmic rising and falling of her chest and the way her beautiful, dark hair lies perfectly around her head. Her skin is smooth like fine silk against mine. As the morning hastily approaches more sunlight finds its way to the bed to illuminate her entire face. Even when she is fast asleep she is strikingly beautiful. Her exquisite eyes are softly nestled away beneath her eyelids. I feel her entire body shift as her eyelids gracefully flutter and her sensuous lips part. In the light her eyes are strikingly vibrant. She is awake...
I should have kissed you like I meant it when I had the chance.
We keep our distance now there's no room for romance
What could you take that I haven't lost?
What could you break that I've still got?
All alone, you spat in my face
but I know, I can make it on my own
so goodnight gorgeous
pretend everything's alright
goodnight gorgeous
The silence that separates us is also the same thing that brings us together. Drunk on solitude; A prayer is whispered for luck.
Raise your class in memory of your biggest mistake. Raise your glass in memory of all the hearts you break.
She is the poison coursing through my veins. Take me someplace I've never been, I want to see everything.
Sprout wings with me so we can watch the hills burn then fly to the ocean just to taste the salt.
Her serrated teeth versus a lifetime of dreams. To this day it still stands as the most horrific thing I've ever seen.
Put a gun against my head
Let's paint these walls a darker shade of red.
It has been over three years now; three fucking years. Where have they all gone? The time has hastily been slipping through my fingers like sand. We have both changed a lot in those three short years but our situation is still stagnant. Ever the unrequited love affair. Broken hearts lead to broken livers. If I was smarter I would cut my losses and move on but that is obviously not the case. Sometimes I feel like we are doomed to keep repeating our mistakes over and over and over and over and over again. We keep falling into this vicious circle in a limbo of self pity and frustration. I guess the responsibility really falls on me. I need to take a stand on be responsible for my actions. We always run to what is most comfortable and familiar. Too afraid of the unknown to take a chance and too afraid to lose the comfort of knowing what lies just around every corner...
...it is morning and I am awake as she quietly sleeps beside me. The first few rays from a fresh sun sneak across the room and illuminate the gentle curves of her cheek. The light accents every nuance of her soft skin, smooth as perfectly aged porcelain. I have been awake for some time, content with just watching her lie beside me. I pay careful attention to the soft rhythmic rising and falling of her chest and the way her beautiful, dark hair lies perfectly around her head. Her skin is smooth like fine silk against mine. As the morning hastily approaches more sunlight finds its way to the bed to illuminate her entire face. Even when she is fast asleep she is strikingly beautiful. Her exquisite eyes are softly nestled away beneath her eyelids. I feel her entire body shift as her eyelids gracefully flutter and her sensuous lips part. In the light her eyes are strikingly vibrant. She is awake...
I should have kissed you like I meant it when I had the chance.
We keep our distance now there's no room for romance
What could you take that I haven't lost?
What could you break that I've still got?
All alone, you spat in my face
but I know, I can make it on my own
so goodnight gorgeous
pretend everything's alright
goodnight gorgeous
Sunday, March 8, 2009
First blog
I decided to start blogging and I'm not sure why. I will probably only update this intermittently. Oh well. Today is a busy day. I've decided that I hate Sundays. The day of rest my ass...
We are taught to observe Sunday as a spiritual day (it's in the 10 commandments right up there with killing people, stealing, and stealing your neighbor's spouse) of rest. I don't remember the last Sunday where I rested; I'm always playing catch up and doing homework or something else. That's life.
Self destruction is masturbation. Self improvement is the answer. (Thank you Chuck Palahniuk)
At a high enough concentration the toxicity of any substance becomes lethal. Think about that one...
People in our society place way too much of an emphasis on being in a relationship or finding the person that's right for us. It kinda makes me sick sometimes. What ever happened to being content with yourself and making yourself happy. Those people that don't ever feel complete unless they have someone there make me sick. Learn to love yourself and quit dribbling about how great your significant other is. Everyone is so paranoid of being alone. It's like the silence that separates people, most can't take it and have to break the silence. No one cares to just enjoy it. Silence never lasts long. In all fairness nothing really lasts. We are all just fleeting memories that have yet to pass. Everything we know is just an electrical impulse in your brain transmitted by a complex chain of axons, neurons, receptors, chemicals, neurotransmitters, etc. Have you ever really thought about that? What you are" seeing" or "feeling" is really just how your brain interprets different electrical or chemical impulses. I'll extrapolate on all of this later. It's Sunday and I have far too much to do right now.
I'll leave you with some lyrics:
Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I've become
You're free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar
We are taught to observe Sunday as a spiritual day (it's in the 10 commandments right up there with killing people, stealing, and stealing your neighbor's spouse) of rest. I don't remember the last Sunday where I rested; I'm always playing catch up and doing homework or something else. That's life.
Self destruction is masturbation. Self improvement is the answer. (Thank you Chuck Palahniuk)
At a high enough concentration the toxicity of any substance becomes lethal. Think about that one...
People in our society place way too much of an emphasis on being in a relationship or finding the person that's right for us. It kinda makes me sick sometimes. What ever happened to being content with yourself and making yourself happy. Those people that don't ever feel complete unless they have someone there make me sick. Learn to love yourself and quit dribbling about how great your significant other is. Everyone is so paranoid of being alone. It's like the silence that separates people, most can't take it and have to break the silence. No one cares to just enjoy it. Silence never lasts long. In all fairness nothing really lasts. We are all just fleeting memories that have yet to pass. Everything we know is just an electrical impulse in your brain transmitted by a complex chain of axons, neurons, receptors, chemicals, neurotransmitters, etc. Have you ever really thought about that? What you are" seeing" or "feeling" is really just how your brain interprets different electrical or chemical impulses. I'll extrapolate on all of this later. It's Sunday and I have far too much to do right now.
I'll leave you with some lyrics:
Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I've become
You're free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar
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